The Recipe Club

Ask Lilly and Val

September 2009

Dear Lilly and Val,
One of my oldest and closest friends is driving me nuts! All of a sudden she’s copying everything I do. I recently bought sandals that I love, and a few days later she got the same pair. Then I ordered a skirt from a catalog, and soon she was wearing the same one. I cut my hair short, and within a week she did, too. She’s reading the same book, buying the same music. I know imitation is supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery, but I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my identity! And on top of this, she’s calling me day and night just to “check in.” Then she gets mad when I don’t respond in five minutes. But I’ve got a new boyfriend and a new job, so I don’t have the same kind of time I used to have for her. What should I do?

Dear Suffocating,
I think your friend is afraid of losing you. It seems like the changes in your life are making her insecure. You could try talking to her, compassionately. It’s really hard to be left behind. Tell her that you will always treasure your friendship, but that the way she’s holding on so tight isn’t good for either of you. She might feel better just being acknowledged in a loving way.
Good luck!

Dear Suffocating,
Lose her, she’s a loser. Anyone that uptight, who can’t find her own way in the world, is a shadow friend that you sure as hell don’t need. If you’re moving on to new life adventures, the last thing you want is someone pulling you backwards. Remember, you are the star of your own story and you need to stay center stage. Alternatively, you could shave your head and wear jeans that don’t fit just to see if she’ll copy that style! Remember: when you’re suffocating, it’s good to breathe. Not to mention it does wonders for your complexion.

Having friendship issues? Your worries are over! Just submit your question. Every month, one lucky advice seeker will win a free Recipe Club gift from Lilly and Val!